You and I ( as much a poem as a social comment)

we live in world divided into classes, often hierarchical, never equal. equality is a value that the human soul strives to achieve...acceptance and love flow from equity. that ideal however is seldom visible in human interactions, not in the social macrocosm, nor in the interpersonal microcosm.
the man woman relationship too, suffers from this...with one partner often the dominant one, to the detriment of the other...
this poem is a reflection of my personal agony, but it resonates with all that happens all around me as well...
You and I 


I sit hunched over my plea all day
Clutching my furiously beating heart in one hand,
Hoping to quell the beat
Framing my draft with the other
I agonise over The words
They must not displease or antagonise,
Nay they ought to be suitably subservient ,
Appealing to your sense of justice,
But must be without accusation or complaint,
I wrap my words in floral adjectives, dress them in hand pressed paper
And while I wait, for you to respond
I remind myself ad nauseam
Of times free and happy
Of sugar and spice and all things nice
Using every device at my disposal to keep my hopes up, my heart happy...
Vulnerable , like a dandelion caught in the wind...
You
Sitting in your big chair, behind the enormous polished wooden desk,
Must examine many such papers all day
Therefore must have considerable practice at dismissal
For you have devised ingenious methods of denial
Somehow, I am always the one proven undeserving ,
It's always my limitations ....
After all how many heartbeats can you make happy?
There is only that much to give
And it is already taken...
You see we come from different lineages , you and I
I plead and you grant,
I am the dispossessed , you hold everything that is of value in the palm of your hand
I have inherited the proletariat ,
You, the bourgeois
Don't you see,my love
I have learnt to plead and ameliorate,
Involuntarily, I certainly didn't want it so,
As you have learnt the mechanisms of power
Bound in an eternal dance, you and I
If we can perceive, can we also break free..?
~Vinny Jain
7/5/14
copyright mine

there is in any given time frame, a visible duality in cultural location, in ideological frameworks, in philosophies that one lives one's life by and in lifestyles. the civilizational sophisticate represents a structured text legitimized way of life "High Culture", and a simpler, commonsensical somewhat rustic, "Low Culture", of the common folks...the masses. in the Indian context this duality can also be perceived as the divide between the shastric brahmanical tradition and the simpler philosophy of the later Bhakti Saints, protesting against the regimented , hierarchical prescriptions, preaching a philosophy simply based on love and submission...
I've found my empathy with the latter, and have had to deal with the former, practiced by loved ones, living as i do in India
ironically, structures, limit, as much as they define, it pains me to see people live with self imposed limitations.
i'd rather let love embrace all....
this poem , reproduced below is mine....

many many moons ago, i read a poem, by Gulzar Sahib...".tere shehar pahunch to jaata, raste main dariya bahut the, pul tune sab jala diye the..."( not verbatim )...the last line has stayed with me...
i've used it here though this is an entirely different piece...

तुम और मैं

आचार, विचार, अध्यन, अभ्यास, ध्यान,
कितनी सुसंस्कृत है तुम्हारी दुनिया,
मर्यादा, संतुलन , शास्त्र पदत पाण्डित्य,
स्वालम्भन, अनासक्ती
अवश्य मोक्ष कि प्राप्ति होगी तुम्हे…
मैं ,
अनगढ़ माटी कि पुतली,
केवल प्रेम कि एक पोथी ही पढी है मैंने,
सरल समर्पण से उपजी आसक्ती,
सहज स्वीकार है मुझे,
तुम,
आकार निराकार, भाव पदार्थ के भेद में,
ईश्वर को खोजते हो,
मैं,
प्रेम के मोह में बन्धी ,
अपना अस्तीत्व त्याग चुकी हूँ,
कोई,मर्यादा, कोई सीमा व्याखित नहीँ करती मुझे,…
लो,
हम फिर अपने अपने पाले में हैं ,
पुल सब जला दिये हैं तुमने …
~ विन्नी
4/5/14

Tum aur Main

Aachar vichar adyan abhyas dhyan
Kitni susanskrit hai tumhari duniya
Maryada santulan shastra padat paditaya
Swalambhan, anasakti....
Awashya mokshya ki prapti hogi tumhe
Main, ungadh mati ki putli
Kewal prem ki ek pothi hee padhi hai Maine,
Saral samarpan se upjee aasakti sehaj sweekar hai mujhe
Tum
Aakaar niraakar bhaav padharth ke bhed main
Ishwar ko khojte ho
Main
prem ke moh main bandhee
Apna astitiv tyaag chuki hoon
Koi maryada, koi seema vyakhit nahin karti mujhe...
Lo , hum phir apne apne pale main hain
Pul Sab jala diyen hain tumne...
~Vinny
4/5/14

copyright mine

men and women and socialisation ...Lily Myers - "Shrinking Women" (CUPSI 2013)

spend 3 and a half minutes and watch this today, watch it and do me a favour...

we all are creatures of socialisation, inheritance of attitudes and values is accidental,  almost imperceptible...

we learn from those around us and what is around us?

sexism and patriarchy...triumphant and all pervasive

i watched my grandmother stand at the foot of my  grandfathers bed, who was ill often...a cup or a plate in her hand, for long periods of time, waiting for him to merely look her way, pandering to his every need...

my other grandmother never, never, ate before she fed her family of seven children and a husband...there would often be nothing left in the pot for her..

my mother is strong, feisty even, and will hold her own. she will stand up for rights and admonish wrong. however she will do so only when she can perceive...and our social constructs often determine what we perceive and how...

i shudder at the thought of unconsciously contributing to such inequity...perhaps i do, i am human. however i  am determined to learn, to perceive to correct and help myself grow out of this habit..

we are all human, men and women..

please let us be...

tum aur main तुम और मैं

women...we learn to live within defined boundaries in this world, a man's world
punished we nevertheless are , for acts of omission and commission defined by those boundaries...boundaries over which we as women have little control...just as little as Sita did

Tum aur main

Tum
Geeli mitti main unglee se ,
Kheench dete ho rekhayeen,
Waqt ke sath sookhi sakht ho jaatin hain,
Sabhi seemayen tumhi to tay karte ho...

Main
Samet leti hoon apni hasti apne hee bheetar ,
Par har sau saalon main,
Prthvi apni dhoori par karvat leti hai,
mati ki anboojh Rekha ke par,
Dikhayee de jaata hai mera koi naqsh,
Bas,
dukh ka koi naya ravaan har leta hai mujhe...
Har sau saalon main , ek bar...
~Vinny
1/5/14

तुम

गीली माटी  मेँ ,
उंगली से खींच देते हो रेखाएं ,
वक़्त के साथ सूखी, सख्त हो जाती हैँ,
सभी सीमायें तुम्ही तो तय करते  हो,

मैं,
समेट लेती हूँ अपनी हस्ती ,
अपने ही भीतर,
पर हर सौ सालों मेँ
पृथ्वी अपनी धुरी पर ,
करवट लेती है ,

माटी कि अनबूझ रेखा के पार,
दिखाई दे जाता है मेरा कोई  नक़्श ,
बस,
दुःख का कोइ नया रावण , हर लेतां  है मुझे,
हर सौ सालोँ  मेँ , एक बार…

~ विन्नी
1/5/14

रेल गाड़ी Rail gadi

i wonder how many of us remember standing at a level crossing, the gateway barred, waiting for a train to pass..
for me, counting the bogies attached to the engine became an obsession, i catch myself at the count, sometimes still...!!!!
this has become a fond memory...
thought of this last night....

रेल गाड़ी
रेल फाटक  फिर बन्द था आज,
इस जानिब खडी मैं ,
गुज़रती हुई रेल के डिब्बे गिनती रही,
आदतन। ....
अक्सर लगता है ऐसा ,इन वक़्तों मैं ,
जिंदगी रेल की रफ़्तार सी, दौड़ीं  जाती है ,
और मुझे मंज़िल का  पता भी नहीं ,
बस इस जानिब खडी  मैं ,
गुज़रती हुई जिंदगी के हिज्जे गिनती  रहतीं  हूँ,
आदतन....
~ विन्नी जैन
29/4/14
Rail gadi
Rail phatak phir band tha aaj,
Is janib khadi main,
Guzarti hui rail ke dabbe gintee Rahee,
aadatan...
Aksar Lagta hai aisa, in waqton main,
Jindagee rail ki raftaar see, daudee jaati hai,
Aur mujhe manzil ka pata Bhi nahin,
Bas is janib khadi main
Guzartee hui jindagi ke hijje gintee rehtee hoon,
Aadatan..
.~ Vinny

between the devil and the deep blue sea!!

these are difficult times for an ordinary Indian citizen such as me...this election has taken on an extraordinarily intense pitch, its a life and death matter, it raises questions of being that raise doubts and sow confusions in our minds, questions that concern our belief systems and the ingredients of our identities. Hell!!! when did i give away my right to decide for myself the contents of that which is right and that which is wrong for me?
the fevered pitch at which these judgements are being made and thrust down my throat, question the nature of our democracy in my mind...
therefore it is that if i do vote for a certain someone, i'd best drown in the sea, and if i don't, i'd best pack my bags and prepare to move to Pakistan!!!
well, politics was always theatrical in these parts, but of late it has taken on particularly black hues...it smacks of a sense of self righteous worth that demeans the other in order to survive, a grand plan that must, as a matter of necessity destroy all that , that stands in its path, in order to find fulfillment in dubious creation.
that kind of exclusive extremism, displayed in the public space by almost all players, bothers me, it lacks a decency that comes from informed considered deliberations, it lacks the careful choosing of accommodative actions, a selection of a path, a course of action, based on inclusive consent. it rides rough and hard over my finer sensibilities, making a brute out of me in the process
i resent the environment in which i am forced to live, forced on pain of 'my way or the highway' positioning...
secularism is now a dirty word. in a country that has suffered on account of deliberate use of religious identity for vote bank politics, communities in turn have learnt to use their numbers to bargain for shares of the developmental cake, such as it is.
i grew up in a time and a world where your relationship with your God was manifest in private space and was respectful of my relationship with my God, Manifest in my private space.
in these ready , loud, rough times, that relationship , no longer sacred and sacrosanct, is worth nothing if it doesn't shout loud enough through the barrel of a loud speaker, it is worth nothing if it doesn't intimidate...
i want the nuanced finer things of my world safe..and yes if that means that i must move to Pakistan, then so be it..
or Switzerland, Italy or Greece for that matter...!
Vinny Jain
28/4/14

TUM AUR MAIN तुम और मैँ

this was written about a month ago...


TUM AUR MAIN
Main,
rehti hoon aasmanon main kaheen
Khayalon main khoyee ,
Ankh moond loon to,
 sirf mera hee apna anokha satya roshan rehta hai...
Sirf wahii raah dikhtee hai,
Jo har modh se jaati hai tum tak...
Tum,
Chaho ge agar ke main Aankh khol loon,
Gir jaongi main aasmanon se,
Tumhare shehar ki chamak,
Meri aankhon ki binayee cheen leti hai,
Tum baanh thaam lo,
to is dhoop chaav main koi raah dikhe...
~Vinny
24/3/14

तुम और मैं

मैं,
रहती हूँ आसमानों में कहीँ,
ख्यालों में खोयी,
आँख मूँद लूँ  तो,
 सिर्फ़ मेरा ही अपना अनोखा सत्य रोशन रहता है,
सिर्फ वही राह दिखती है,
जो हर मोड़ से जाती है तुम तक,
तुम
चाहोगे अगर कि आँख खोल लूँ ,
गिर जाऊँगी मैं  आसमानो  से,
तुम्हारे शहर कि चमक,
 मेरी आँखोँ कि बिनाई छीन लेती है ,
तुम बाँह थाम लो,
तो इस धूप छाव मेँ कोई  राह दिखे
~ विन्नी

24/3/14